“Sarcasm helps me overcome the harshness of the reality we live, eases the pain of scars, and makes people smile.” -Mahmoud Darwish
*foreword: excuse my sloppy style today, I’m nervous, and definitely a bit rusty. alright. here we go.*
Today, I’m going to talk about the present day. In general, those who meet me immediately realize that I am a very heavily sarcastic person. So on the occasions I happen to share snippets of my past with friends, or evens strangers, I occasionally laugh, which seems to unnerve my listeners. As I begin to post these stories here, you will understand why it is strange to others to hear me laugh about my past, but let me explain here, before the stories, why I do this, so as to avoid any confusion later on.
When I laugh about terrible things that have happened, understand that I do not find these things humorous, or expect anyone else to. I tend to laugh, or rather chuckle, for several different reasons, that hopefully some of my readers can relate to. If not, I hope you enjoy this glimpse into my mind.
Counterpoising
The most common reason I laugh after sharing an incredibly personal and/or painful story is that I am attempting to counterpoise the situation, and ease the tension with a light laugh. Often, a shocked or uncomfortable silence follows the end of my story, an din an attempt to demonstrate that I was merely sharing, and that I wasn’t looking for words of encouragement or any of that nonsense, I like to give a small chuckle to create a bridge of sorts to the next part of the conversation.
Chagrin
Sometimes, I immediately regret sharing, and I am just overwhelmed by a deep humiliation and can’t think of any way to fix the situation, and thus I laugh out of a sheer inability to express myself properly. I just want to hear anything other than the voice in my head telling me I said far too much. This type of laugh is definitely uncomfortable for everyone involved, and often even adds more to the embarrassment, and chances are, I will avoid talking to the unfortunate individual I just shared with ever again.
Relief
Occasionally, I am so relieved to have gotten whatever was bothering me off of my chest, that I can’t help but utter a laugh of relief. This usually only happens when I tell a story to someone I have known for a long time, but never been sure if I could confide in them… until I do, ha.
Because I can
Above all of these reasons, I laugh because I still can. After everything that has happened, laughter is what has gotten me through it. My sarcastic and cynical mannerisms may be misleading, but when it comes down to it, I am finally happy, and consistently optimistic, despite any circumstances. I laugh because I enjoy laughing, and I’d much rather be making other people laugh, than sharing my sad stories. However, sharing is caring, or whatever, so I figured I’d have to store these stories somewhere, or risk the implosion of my entire mental health/reality and such. My sense of humor is the antidote to my past’s sick twist and turns and my laughter is the side effect of that antidote.
xDarko 